I’m feeling a little guilty after my last diatribe where my friend J. commented that she found it sad. I have to wonder if she means pathetic or just disheartening. Either way, I feel bad that I so often give her reason to feel sorry for me and make comments like “Hmmmmm,” which I know is how she politely expresses her disapproval of my beliefs.
For clarification, I was jaded, sarcastic and humbug-ish the last time I wrote. I have the right to feel that way sometimes. I am neither atheist nor anti-Christian. Jesus is one of my favorite teachers, a figure I admire very much and also feel extremely sorry for.
We were decorating our Christmas tree this week and found the little cut glass “Jesus people” and also a wood-carved nativity scene. I am glad to put them out in my display along with an Scandinavian-styled Santa, a porcelain sleigh with a festive floral arrangement, numerous holiday-themed candle holders and a caroler my daughter made from a toilet paper roll, complete with cotton ball hair and toothpick arms holding up a wee little song book. Yes, we put a star on top of our tree.
I know it’s just made up that December 25th is Jesus’ birthday. It was a pagan holiday long before Christians took it over, but hey, that’s true of a lot of stuff. It’s silly for me to be in a funk about it. I’m glad Jesus was born, and I’m going to have a better attitude about the “reason for the season.” But let’s be honest, Christmas is a secular holiday too. I’m pretty damn sure that atheists, agnostics and people who just don’t have any religious feelings in particular put up trees and hang up their stockings, sing carols and exchange gifts with friends and family.
Don’t be too hard on me, J. I love you too.